How to Date in Asia as a Foreigner

Whether you’re a traveller or an expat, getting a date in Asia isn’t always easy. The cultural shock gets even the best of us. Asia is enormous and very diverse. Even if you are Asian yourself, dating outside your own culture is challenging.

Of course, it is also lots of fun.

Asian girls are sexy, smart, sophisticated, family-minded, open-minded… There are really all sorts of them. This is the guide to meeting yours!

It’s Not Black And White

Dating in Asia comes in a variety of experiences. Which is why the following is NOT true:

All Asian girls are either whores or saints.

I don’t blame you for thinking that. Heck, I used to believe it, too.

But, truthfully, the sweetest girl could turn out to be a professional, and the skankiest-looking could really be a virgin.

When it comes to Asian chicks, here are some types you’ll meet. Depending on your preferences/ on what you are looking for, pick a type to stick with.

Goody-Goody Gals

These are the stereotypical, sweet, submissive Asian girls. They come from a decent family (usually middle class, not higher) and they want a decent family for themselves. These Asian girls mature earlier. By their late 20’s, they are ready for a husband and kids.

Depending on the region, goody girls might also be very religious. In the Philippines, the Catholic church plays a major part in everyone’s life. Muslim girls in Indonesia are also often like that.

But being an innocent romantic doesn’t always have to do with faith. Usually, it’s just the way she was raised. That’s why being close to her family is the number one quality of nice girls in Asia.

Sweet Doesn’t Mean Grown-Up

Sure, good girls look for husbands early on. In many ways, they make the perfect wife. They are great in the kitchen, they genuinely care about you and about the relationship, and they’re thrilled to support you.

Just because they are mature in this respect, though, it doesn’t mean they’re completely adult.

Nice girls don’t stick around the dating scene for long. They don’t have a lot of experience. They are prone to getting codependent and clingy.

If you date in Asia, especially if you date stereotypical good girls, expect ultimatums. Childish behaviour like that comes directly from a lack of experience. An older and wiser version of these women would know better. The fact remains, though, sweet and romantic girls are inexperienced and that’s why they act immature.

How To Score That Cutie

You have to be careful when you date the goody-goody. She is sensitive but not naive. If anything, good girls act overly suspicious of men. They don’t want to be taken advantage of.

You wouldn’t have much luck if you’re not looking for a relationship. Only seeking a hookup buddy? Skip ahead to the next section. It would never work between you and a good girl.

But if you’re still here, that means you want those sweet perks of an Asian girlfriend. The key to getting and keeping her is initiative. That type of Asian girl is shy. She wouldn’t dare approach you, even if she likes you. A girl taking the first step is seen as immodest and completely unladylike. Go talk to her first!

When you do, be very respectful. The same goes for after you get together. Asian women are fun and playful. When it comes to physical intimacy, though, to each her own boundaries. Don’t push a good girl to break them. If she does, she’ll feel guilty and get clingy after (which is never good for a relationship). She most likely won’t go beyond her limits, though. That means you’ll be out of the picture faster than you realise.

The Perfect Date In Asia

You got the perfect girl. Here is a perfect Asian date:

First, remember that what is trivial to you, is cool to her. Asian girls like Western guys. They represent a different culture, full of fun things (that she’s mostly just seen at the movies).

Go full out by cooking her something from back home. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Even peanut butter and jelly are exotic to an Asian girl. If you plan on cooking something from her culture, though… Just don’t. 10 out of 10 times you will look like a complete loser.

Karaoke is very popular in Asia. It could be fun for a first date but do expect her friends to show. Yes, really. At the early stages, Asian women stick to group dates. I remember my friend was so shocked when he discovered that. He got back and wouldn’t stop repeating Every third date in Asia is a group date, it’s insane.

I didn’t believe him.

But then I saw it for myself.

If you want to get some intimacy, you have to pick the location right. I personally love hookah bars. Apart from enjoying the hookah, I find them to be very sensual. You can still sit by her, chat, smoke, you could even do the thing where you exchange the smoke. Best of all, all of her friends could still be there. She wins, you win!

Going back to the “what is normal for you is cool to her” theme, playing pool is another cool idea for a date in Asia. I know, I know, you play pool with your guy friends, not with a hot date. But it is kind of perfect. You get to teach her and that involves getting close. It’s a perfect way to break the initial physical barrier.

Just beware not to make her feel uncomfortable. Good girls back down on that. Keep it innocent-looking and you’ll win her over in no time!

Crazy Rich Asians

Yes, these people actually exist. High-society girls are very Westernized and usually not interested in common with local men. They either date foreigners or fellow high-so guys.

These girls come from very wealthy families. They are well-educated, though they don’t really need to work and provide for themselves. Because they have been influenced by the West, you won’t meet any wife material chicks there.

Crazy rich girls are great for casual hookups. They are open-minded and they know how to enjoy themselves. Just be careful not to hurt her feelings. Some of the dads are very influential, while others are very dangerous. Let’s just say that not all criminals get caught. The last thing you want is to mess with a mafia boss’ daughter.

For that reason among others, I tend to avoid rich girls. Most have a distinct sense of entitlement. I wouldn’t want to end up dead just because I didn’t give her what she wanted.

Never (Ever) Date In Asia If…

If you have yellow fever.

Yes, it seems counter-intuitive. But yellow fever is generally a weird and borderline offensive trait. You’re in a foreign culture. It makes sense that you do as the Asians do, so to speak. It doesn’t make sense to be more Asian than actual Asians.

If you’ve only dated Asian girls in the past… Guess what? Not a great thing to mention on a first date.

The same goes for unfunny Asian jokes. Granted, locals themselves are often depreciative of their culture. You do not get the same luxury. Respect, respect, respect. Otherwise, it’s game over at the very first Asians and math joke.

Date In Asia Or Do Business In Asia?

There are lots of sex workers in Asian countries. It’s not just prostitutes and strippers. Southeast Asia is one of the world’s most popular sex destinations.

The trouble with professionals is you never know if they are. A completely sweet and naive-looking girl could really be a scammer. That’s why, as a non-negotiable rule:

  • Never give money to strangers. That includes strangers you meet on the Internet and girls you meet at clubs. A nice girl would never ask for cash at the beginning of a relationship.
  • Watch out for women who don’t even suggest they pay for themselves. If she’s so used to guys paying, she is probably a professional.
  • Have sex with prostitutes, bar girls, ladyboys, whatever you want. Just remember that if it’s a sex worker, it’s business. Stay safe and remember that this is not dating, it is a contract.

Finally, if you will be looking for that, stick to respectable places. It’s easy to differentiate between sleazy and decent. Trust me, you don’t want to get all cheap on this one. And always use a condom. HIV and syphilis are rampant in parts of the Asian sex industry.

Your Best Tips For Foreigners Who Date In Asia?

And there you had it – our step-by-step guide to dating in Asia. Not it’s your turn to share thoughts, experiences, and tips. You will be helping out fellow travelers – sharing is caring, remember?

Finally, if you have any questions we could help with – leave them in the comments below. We might answer or we might even do a full article on them. Either way, don’t hesitate!

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